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    First Night Failure First night failure Introduction The first night or honeymoon night of marriage traditionally means the first sexual encounter for an Indian couple. It is the moment when society legally permits the consummation of the union of man with women. The first night is the most awaited night in one's life. Unfortunately, as sexologists, we come across a large number of clients failing on their night. The first-night failure' often results in sexual dysfunctions, social maladjustments, marital disharmony and even divorce. Why failure? The first night has been given special importance from ancient days. Our Sanskrit literature gives detailed descriptions and exotic fantasies woven around the first night. In the kumar saum bhava, Kalidasa takes liberty in describing the love dalliance of the newly wedded shiv and uma. Our cinema has glorified the first night. The entry of the bridegroom in the decorated bedroom, flower bedecked beds, the bride, veil, glass of milk, sweets and the magic moment begins! today, a large number of novels in vernacular languages are available under erotic titles glamourising the sexual raptures of the first night. So the first night become the most special night of a young couple's life i. E the golden night'. In our culture, till today in many parts of india, adolescent boys and girls are not allowed to interact with each other socially (except in some tribal societies) once the girls attains puberty. Marriages are fixing by elders. There is hardly any change of courting. The first night in reality becomes the first encounter' to know each other. Some young individuals are scared to death about their performance on the first night. Their fear is doubled by misguiding friends, yellow books, white self-advertised pamphlets by quacks and blue films. They have a feeling of sexual inadequacy, 'kamjori' or believe that they have become impotent and life has come to an end. One of the most worrying question on a man's mind whether on the first night' he will succeed in breaking the virginal seal' with bang, as this is supposed to make a successful marriage. Because of this fear, many eligible bachelors avoid marriage. Sometime they end up buying so called sex tonic advertised in lay press or even rejuvenators even prescribed by consultants. To avoid first night' failures some of them even visit prostitutes to test their potency! a women enter into the first night with anxiety, tension, fear and a variety of other emotions. The greatest worry on the mind of the bride is how she will fare in the virginity test'. Virginity is considered a virtue. It is a sign of purity. In some societies, the couple is expected to show the bed cover stained with blood after first night as proof of virginity! Thus, the bedroom, instead of being the foundation for developing tenderness, care, warmth, affection, life long love, pleasure bond, trust, intimacy and relationship, turns into a laboratory for testing potency and virginity. The west got the honeymoon problem i. E. First night failures. One dose not even find a mention of first night failure in any standard text book of sexual medicine or in diagnostic and statistical manual (dsm-iv) Western views Dr wadell b pomeroy, co-author of the kinsey's report, describes premarital intercourse as a training ground for marriage. Lessons learnt without feeling of guilt and fear and the knowledge of good techniques, go a long way in developing relationship. Urge to have intercourse is like any other urges, e. G. Playing tennis, swimming or dancing, riding a horse or doing anything which gives pleasure. Premarital intercourse, unlike masturbation, is a means of interaction with another human being and consequently is a means of learning how to live with people. Sometime, it is learnt too late after marriage that they are not suited to each other sexually. Prevalence The first night' performance as still an important event in one's life. Failure can lead to disaster! It is difficult to statistically because of want of actual reporting and documentation. One can say 20% to 30% of couples who seek sex therapy have failure on their first night or at the time of first sexual contact. Aetiology The sexual behavior in a human being is the outcome of learning and conditioning sex being considered a taboo, there is hardly any opportunity for learning. Therefore, ignorance, myths, and misconceptions about sex prevail. The most common etiology factor for first night failure in marriage is ignorance about male and female anatomy and facts of sex act. Some couples have unrealistic expectations of sex act. Other cause of first night failure is tight foreskin in male, tough hymen in female and dyspareunia, etc First-night blues 1 psychological Inadequate sexual information Restrictive upbringing A. Sex is dirty B. Women who enjoy sex are disreputable Guilt Sexual myths Fear of pain, failure, not satisfying partner Fear of std/HIV/aids 2 organic Dysfunction in the partner e. G. Vaginismus Tight foreskin If failure occurs on the first attempt, the first thing comes in mind am I impotent?' the more he tries. The more he fails. He feels something is terribly wrong with him. He feels that due to his past habit of masturbation, he has lost his vitality, vigour, and potency. He stops further sexual advances. It starts a vicious cycle of performance anxiety and spectatoring' and failure. Consequences They may avoid sexual activity. They may continue to have only foreplay. They may have good relationship in other aspects of life. Some may suffer from anxiety/depression. Impotency They may make allegations at each other leading to marital conflicts, separation or divorce
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    Premature Ejaculation 5 Tips Premature ejaculation is the uncontrolled occurrence of an ejaculation at the beginning or early stages of sexual activity. There are many causes of this condition including stress, anxiety with a new partner, guilt, depression as well as medical reasons like hormonal imbalances and as a side effect of certain kinds of medication. The main symptom is an ejaculation that happens with minimal sexual excitement or stimulation. It is basically a form of male sexual dysfunction that can be diagnosed with the help of a physical examination where the doctor can also ask questions pertaining to stress levels and other medications and ailments. So, how can one deal with premature ejaculation? Here are a few tips- 1. Relaxation Techniques: One can practise breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques including meditation that can help in distracting the mind so that there is less scope of anxiety. This can also help in putting the patient in the right frame of mind where he can actually enjoy the process of sexual activity from stimulation to excitement to peak and orgasm. 2. Avoiding Substance Abuse: Doctors usually recommend avoiding excessive consumption of alcohol so that the senses are more alert. Also, one must completely avoid smoking in such conditions, as tobacco can have an adverse effect on the sexual health of a person. Other substance abuse should also be avoided .3. Therapy: The patient can also seek psychological therapy and counselling so as to unravel any deep rooted psychological cause or trauma that may be keeping him from enjoying sex in an uninhibited manner. It is possible to understand the connection between childhood trauma, guilt, depression, anxiety, and stress if a person takes help from a professional practitioner who will also recommend some form of cognitive behavioural therapy to deal with the issue and overcome the problem and feelings that are hindering a normal sex life. 4. Medical Intervention: A doctor can help in examining the presence of any infection or side effects of any intense or long term medication with the help of a physical examination and even lab tests that can study the urine and blood samples. Accordingly, a suitable path of medicinal therapy can be followed, if required. 5. Sexual Positions: One can try different kinds of sexual positions and scenarios for more imaginative role play and better sexual excitement which can delay the ejaculation. A person can also learn to be more intimate with the partner so as to identify the triggers that lead to premature ejaculation.Many times, premature ejaculation goes away with the passage of time. But a chronic and debilitating problem must be reported to a doctor for better treatment. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist....
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    Best Sexologist in Pune, Maharashtra, India. Welcome to sexual health doctor (sex expert) - Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari clinic for sex counseling & therapy. He is the Best Sexologist in Pune & Mumbai, India for advice/treatment on all sex problems like Erectile Dysfunction (ED), Premature Ejaculation (PE), painful sex (dyspareunia), penis size (small) shape angle issues, difficult first time sex (non-consummation), lack of sexual desire, absent/lack of orgasm pleasure, website- http://www.wnhohealthcare.co.in homosexuality, gender identity, sexual abuse, masturbation and circumcision questions and worries, phimosis, Paraphimosis and addressing this problem without circumcision surgery. Sex is a biological need and one of the most intimate and pleasurable of all human experiences. However, it can become a major concern for some persons who face recurrent sexual problems. Almost every person faces sexual or relationship problems at some time or other during his/her lifetime and is really bothersome if it is continual in nature. Some couples require many weeks or a few months and sometimes even 1-2 years or more to sexually adjust with each other. A few couples never become sexually compatible and unfortunately if they never seek professional help, the problem is never resolved. Often, as men and women approach their mid-life, they face sexual problems. Like any other major health problem like cancer, diabetes and heart disease, it is beneficial to seek early treatment for sexual problems. Brushing these issues under the carpet may be harmful as it can undo a good relationship and could bring about discord and resentment in the couple. Often, in our culture, mediation and help is sought from friends and relatives. However, seeking professional help is always better as it is unbiased, scientifically correct and based on objective consideration of the overall problem. Sometimes, relationship problems such as poor communication, continuous conflict and avoidance of sex for any reason can wreck in the life of a couple. Dr Maheshwari offers personal counseling to individuals or couples facing sexual problems that include low sexual desire, premature ejaculation, inability to orgasm, erectile difficulty, vaginismus (involuntary tightening of vaginal muscles causing pain and preventing entry of penis) and delayed ejaculation. Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari believes in using Medication as well as Specific Exercises and Diet along with Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy and Psychotherapy in treating sexual problems. His experience is that this combination is much more effective than using just one single approach. Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari also offers workshops/seminars to groups of individuals or corporate clients on different aspects of Human Relationships and Sexuality to learn more about sexuality and thereby enhance sexual pleasure. For those who are interested in Tantra Sex, Dr. Maheshwari has special counseling sessions. This aims in helping men to overcome premature ejaculation and get stronger long lasting erections. For women, understanding tantra helps them to overcome sexual nervousness and enjoy true full body orgasms. Dr. Ramesh Maheshwari is a highly trained and experienced Physician, Sex Counselor and Clinical Sexologist. He offers personal individual and couple counseling, sex therapy, marriage help, marriage counseling, sex advice, sex coaching group workshops and other educational events. You can also consult top and finest sexologist Dr Ramesh Maheshwari by phone from anywhere in India be it Pune, Mumbai or any other city in Maharashtra or other states - for sex education of teens, students, pre-marriage and post-marriage counseling for men, women and couples on contraception, pregnancy, infertility and HIV/AIDS counseling and therapy. This website is meant to inform people about Dr.Ramesh Maheshwari approach towards sex counseling and therapy so that they can choose to come and resolve their personal problems on sex and other related issues. Address- Dr Ramesh Maheshwari Wnho Health Care Pvt Ltd, 2014 Tilak Road, Near SP College Grahak Peth, Opposite ICICI bank. Email drrameshm2@gmail.com Website -www.wnhocare.co.in / www.sexualdoctorpuneindia.com
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    AIDS Tip Image ACQUIRED IMMUNO DEFICIENCY SYNDROME (AIDS) CAUSE: HIV I OR HIV II virus ROUTE: 1. Sexual Homosexual Heterosexual (often Prostitutes) Multiple sexual partners 2. Blood and body fluids Contaminated blood and blood products a) Blood transfusion b) Blood products eg. Factor VIII 3. Contaminated needles and syringes a) Inadequately sterilized medical equipment. b) Intravenous drug abuser (Drug addicts) 4. Mother to child In utero At birth Breast milk 5.Organ and tissue donations Semen Kidney, skin, cornea Bone marrow SYMPTOMS: Low grade fever of unknown origin. Unexplained diarrhoea TB (atypical Mycobacterium) with Evening rise of fever Weight loss Appetite loss Cough Chest pain Blood stained sputum Respiratory infections like Pneumonia ( P. Carinii) Cancers ( increased chances ) It is important to know that a patient may be infected with HIV virus but may not check the positive in the routine tests. This is called the window period where the level of antibodies is not detectable hence the person test negative for HIV. DO'S AND DON'TS: Use condom during intercourse Patient with antibodies to HIV should not be allowed to donate blood, semen or tissue i.e. Individual who knows that he has AIDS should not donate blood. Avoid having more than one sexual partner Avoid IV drug abuse. Confirm with the physician whether he is using disposable syringes, Sterile needles and infusion sets. Avoid intercourse with prostitutes Mother having AIDS should not breast feed her child If even required to receive blood transfusion confirm that the blood has been tested for HIV CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR: Consult your doctor if there is presence of one or more of: Fever more than 100*F for 1 month in absence of other cause Involuntary weight loss more than 10% of body weight or more than 15 lbs in a short period. Intermittent or continuous diarrhoea persisting for more than 1 month in absence of any other cause Swellings in any part of the body Bleeding associated with weight loss and appetite loss Leukoplakia (white patches in mouth or on tongue) or skin rashes which are recurrent and not resolving Respirating disorders with fever, malaise, blood tinged sputum.
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    Depression: How It Affects Your Sex Life Tip Image Depression is a very common disease and affects every aspect of your life including your physical relation to your partner. Depression and some antidepressants curb sexual drive. This has a negative effect on the depression as sex releases 'happy hormones'. Thus, depression and your sex life share a cyclic relationship. The effect of depression on your sex life is a result of both brain functioning and physical changes in the body. Women are more likely to suffer from a reduced libido as an effect of depression. When it comes to depression and your sex life, there is no universal form of treatment. However, it is important not to stop treatment for depression in fear of a lowered libido. The sexual side effects can be addressed later. Here are a few things you can do to improve your Sex life: Ask your doctor to adjust medication In cases where the antidepressant curbs libido, lowering or adjusting the drug dosage can be a solution to treat the depression without curbing sexual desire. Do not attempt to adjust your medication on your own. Your doctor may also change the drug to another that does not affect your sex drive. You could also try adjusting the schedule of drug intake such that you medicate yourself after sex. Alternatively, you could ask your doctor to prescribe medication such as Viagra to boost your libido. If your curbed libido is an effect of the depression itself, antidepressants may help you enjoy sex more. You should know that anti depressants can take a few months to have an effect. Break the pattern Depression often makes a person withdraw from others and cease to enjoy any experience. This becomes a thought pattern that cannot be cured with medication. Talking to a counselor can help unlearn these thought patterns and help people form new social bonds. As part of the treatment, the patient will need to find and explore new ways of enjoying sex that can strengthen strained relationships. Talk to your partner Having an open conversation with your partner is key to improving relationships and one's sex life. Talk about your sexual needs and help your partner understand your mental barriers to sex. Find forms of foreplay that appeal to both of you. It is also important for you and your partner to understand that there is no 'standard' to how often you should have sex or how you should feel after it.
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    Infertility in Men - Causes And Symptoms Tip Image Both women and men suffer from infertility troubles. There are a host of causes that may lead to infertility in men such as lifestyle choices and obesity. Male infertility is characterized by irregular sperm function or reduced sperm count. Infertility has emerged as a common problem as a result of the modern day lifestyle. Extremely hectic schedules, stress, burnout, depression, unhealthy diets; all of these can contribute to fertility issues. The various reasons for infertility in men are: If you are overweight, then it is time to lose those extra kilos. Obesity leads to a number of health problems, one of them being erectile dysfunction. Various hormonal problems such as complications of the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal glands may lead to low testosterone levels in the body. Various infections such as inflammation of the testicles and epididymis that causes blockage of the tubes carrying the sperm can be a cause. Various medications such as using anabolic steroids, antifungal medications and chemotherapy may hamper production of the sperm and thus hit fertility. Both alcohol and cigarettes may cause problems in sperm production, and cause erectile dysfunction. Excessive drinking may lead to complications in the liver resulting in infertility. The reasons of infertility may range from medical causes to lifestyle choices; some of the causes may be related to the environment. A common cause of infertility is due to problems with transportation of the sperm. These are mainly due to blockages in the tubes that carry the sperm. Symptoms of infertility in men are: You may experience low libido Your sperm count may be low You may experience lumps or swellings in the testicles Chromosomal complications such as reduced body hair You may have chronic respiratory problems If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult an urologist and ask a free question.
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    Infertility in Men - Causes And Symptoms Tip Image Both women and men suffer from infertility troubles. There are a host of causes that may lead to infertility in men such as lifestyle choices and obesity. Male infertility is characterized by irregular sperm function or reduced sperm count. Infertility has emerged as a common problem as a result of the modern day lifestyle. Extremely hectic schedules, stress, burnout, depression, unhealthy diets; all of these can contribute to fertility issues. The various reasons for infertility in men are: If you are overweight, then it is time to lose those extra kilos. Obesity leads to a number of health problems, one of them being erectile dysfunction. Various hormonal problems such as complications of the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal glands may lead to low testosterone levels in the body. Various infections such as inflammation of the testicles and epididymis that causes blockage of the tubes carrying the sperm can be a cause. Various medications such as using anabolic steroids, antifungal medications and chemotherapy may hamper production of the sperm and thus hit fertility. Both alcohol and cigarettes may cause problems in sperm production, and cause erectile dysfunction. Excessive drinking may lead to complications in the liver resulting in infertility. The reasons of infertility may range from medical causes to lifestyle choices; some of the causes may be related to the environment. A common cause of infertility is due to problems with transportation of the sperm. These are mainly due to blockages in the tubes that carry the sperm. Symptoms of infertility in men are: You may experience low libido Your sperm count may be low You may experience lumps or swellings in the testicles Chromosomal complications such as reduced body hair You may have chronic respiratory problems If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult an urologist and ask a free
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    Medico Legal Aspect of Sex Therapy Tip Image Medico legal aspects of sex therapy Introduction Sex and human sexuality are sensitive subject. To deal effectively with any problem of human sexuality, one has to constantly evaluate its merits and demerits from social, scientific, moral, ethical and most importantly from the legal angle. Following are some of the guidelines for therapist to keep in mind while dealing with clients with sexual problems. Consent Taking informed and expressed consent is of utmost importance while managing any patient. Examining and / or treating a patient without consent would amount to assault and battery which is punishable under criminal law irrespective of absence of negligence or successful outcome of treatment. The consent should be free willed, informed, intelligent, specific and express. Person giving consent should be competent to do so, failing which, consent should be obtained from the lawful guardian of the patient (in cases of minor and/or mentally retarded). Examinition of a female client Besides obtaining a valid consent, in case of female patient, the therapist should always have a female assistant present when examining a female patient this is important for the therapist in order to protect himself from a possible charge of indecent behaviour molestation or even sexual offence like rape ect. Being llevelled against him. Mere presence of husband or any male companion of the female patient is not enough. A sex therapist, in particular, is most vulnerable and therefore should be most careful. Use of surrogate partners Use of surrogate partners for sex therapy is questionable both ethically as well as legally. Sexual involvement of the therapist is universally accepted as unethical. There have been a number of cases where the therapists themselves, having acted as surrogates, have been punished for sexual molestion of their patients. It may also invite a criminal charge of adultery in some countries, including india. There are cases on record where the therapists have been charged with and convicted of rape. Unlike some other countries, the socio cultural set up in india is different. The laws governing sexual behaviour are neither liberal nor evolved as much as in some of the western countries. Besides, surrogacy is likened to prostitution by many. Even if one were to consider surrogate partner as a therapist, then the ethical code prevents a sexual relationship with a client. Moreover, there is every possibility of a disease being transmitted. Particularly the hiv infection, in view of sex with multiple partners by a surrogate person. Therapist should have uppermost in mind the special values of intimacy and love that our culture teaches us to nurture. Professional competency It is the ethical responsibility of every sex therapist to maintain high standards of professional competence and integrity. Competence without integrity or integrity without competence is an unsatisfactory compromise of professionalism. It is most important to protect the public and the other professionals from persons who represent themselves as sex therapists who are in fact lacking in competence and intergrity. Competence in another primary discipline such as psychology, psychiatry or counselling is not equivalent to competence in sex therapy. A sex therapist should possess adequate knowledge of the following: 1. Sexual and reproductive anatomy and physiology. 2. Developmental sexuality from a psychobiological point of view. 3. Marital, family and interpersonal relationship and socio-cultural factors in sexual values 4. Physiological and medical factors that may influence sexual functions such as pregnancy, contraception and fertility, illness, disability, medications. 5. Multimodel techniques and theory of sex therapy and psychotherapy. 6. Pharmacology of the medications used to treat sexual dysfunctions particularly with respect to their adverse effects and interactions with the drugs being consumed for other ailments. 7. Ethical issues in sex therapy and principles of evaluation and referral. 8. Laws related to sexual behaviour. Points to bear in mind all forms of sex therapy which violate the local laws should be handled with care recommending oral sex as a part of therapy is violative of section 377 of the indian penal code which deal with unnatural sexual offences. the hippocratic oath forbids the physician to take advantage of the therapeutic context in order to engage in either homosexual or heterosexual relationship. it is a universal rule that whenever dealing with reproductive functions is involved, express consent of both the spouses should be obtained. proof of competence is the ability to provide objective and responsible services to the clients. there does exist a potential liability under the laws of the land prohibiting consensual conduct such as prostitution, fornication, lewd and lascivious behaviour and adultery which might arise from therapeutic or non- therapeutic sex research activities. sex between therapist and client is always unethical. No matter how therapeutic the rationale might appear, there is no justification for a therapist having sex with a client. The purpose of sex therapy is to improve function, not to change values or beliefs of the client.
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    Kegel Exercises For Women - Super Benefits of it! Tip Image Kegel exercises are simple contraction-and-relaxation exercises that make the pelvic muscles stronger. The pelvis area holds a person's genitalia, which contains a series of muscles and tissues that work in coordination and combination to perform sexual and bowel functions. A set of weak pelvic muscles would lead to issues such as the inability to control bladder and bowel functions. Finding the right muscles can be troubling. An easy way to locate these muscles would be to place a clean finger inside the vagina and tighten the vaginal muscles around it. Another way would be to stop urinating mid-flow. This is because the pelvic muscles, which pertain to sex, help to control this action too. Once a woman finds the right muscles, all she has to do is to contract and relax them periodically. Kegel exercises are highly beneficial for sexual functions in a number of ways. Some of the benefits include: Kegel exercises help to control stress incontinence, which is a condition that causes spontaneous discharge of urine when abdominal pressure increases suddenly. This means a person would leak urine when he/she laughs, coughs, jogs, sneeze or lifts anything weighty. Kegel exercises also help to prevent urge incontinence, which has been described as a sudden and strong urge to urinate. In a healthy bladder, the muscles remain relaxed as the bladder progressively fills up. As the bladder finally fills up, a person gets the urge to urinate. In case one has urge incontinence, the bladder might feel full even if it is not. Kegel exercises help to strengthen these muscles and recover control. Kegel exercises can be particularly helpful after childbirth. This is so because pelvic muscles stretch and weaken during childbirth, which can cause problems such as Urinary incontinence and can also cause the muscles to sag. In these cases, Kegel exercises are helpful. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
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